Hmmm they aren't offering as many text colors on here as they were before. Whatever I guess. I am feeling very introspective and thoughtful right now. I read some stuff today that was very heavy duty and somewhat overwhelming. Before I go any further I would like to say that I am a proud member of the tin foil hat club and I see a conspiracy under nearly every rock there is. Some of the things I read I have read before and some of them were new. As I dig more and more into these things and keep finding out that this is related to this which is related to that and people included, that things are surprising me  less and less. I can clearly see the lines being drawn in the sand and which side I belong to. I know I will have to make a choice some day out front and my prayer is that the L-rd prepares me for that moment so that I can be strong and true to him when the time comes. We will all have to make a stand either for Him or against Him one these days and I of course want to be with Him. My life means nothing to me and as I have said before I am not really interested in anything this world has to offer. Chuck and I live with just the basics in this little room. All of our "things" are in storage. The furniture is ready for a good bonfire because we have moved so many times and it has really taken a beating. Anyway whats eternal and spiritual are the only "things" that really matter and you can't take any "thing" with you when you die. And we all have an appointment with death not a question of if, but when. There is no gaurentee on how long our lives will be and no one ever promised that we are entitled to a long life. This is one of the reasons why I can't figure out why people get so upset when someone dies earlier then we think they should. We have no right to say. Life is a gift not an entitlement. We take so much for granted and think we are entitled to so much. Whats up with that anyway. People get upset with us when we don't perform in the way they are expecting us to, like they are entitled to have us behave in a certain way, like we are a trained seal or something like that. Or a dog. Roll over, sit, play dead. If you don't expect anything out of anyone then you won't be disappointed when they don't perform for you as expected.
          Every time I hear that song Stairway to heaven it affects me in one way or another. I remember the first time I heard it. It was November I believe of 1973 and I was getting ready for bed. I was 15 at the time and in 10th grade. I had my radio on and that song came on and I remember it stopped me dead in my tracks and I had to sit on the side of my bed and just listen to it. It has almost always affected me in this way. I only heard a little bit of it today and it has caused me to feel very down. I once read the story of how this song was written. Jimmy Page used to own Aleister Crowleys old house (I don't know if he still does or not). Aleister Crowley was once known as the most evil man alive. Anyway Jimmy was sitting in the living room by the fireplace (fire going) and the words just came to him. And I know who they came from and where they came from and will never forget. I think it is the best song that Led Zepplin ever did and who and where it came from is why. It is one of the big reasons why I do not listen to rock music any longer. There is such a correlation between rock music and drug use (getting high) that after a while you don't even need drugs to get high from it anymore. G-d deprogramed me from rock music and I don't want to ever go back again. I don't want to get high and I don't want to have my past drag me down anymore which is what rock music does to me. Ususally I can handle 10 mins of it these days if I am lucky. There was a time I wasn't strong enough to turn it off, now I am and I do. Anyway enough of this babbling for another day.