Well I finally made it in here. One thing Box of feelings just for you has done for me and that is to spur me on to write in here more often. Its not like I have much else to do with my time anyway.
I am curious to know how many people really know what love is. I Corinthians chapter 13 is called the love chapter. And it is what true love is. Love is a verb (action word) it is something you do not something you say necessarily. And it certainly isn't having funny feelings towards someone because it isn't a feeling at all. Its a word that gets a lot of abuse. For instance when someone says oh I love pizza, or I love that shirt or those shoes. Just a little food for thought.
I read an article today about how girls develop body images weather healthy or poor. Sorry but this goes back to Dad's again first and foremost.
My Dad was constantly critizing the way I looked, the way I talked, the way I walked. All I wanted was to be loved and accepted for who I am and all I ever felt was rejected for who I am by him. My Dad made several promises to me over my life which he didn't keep and although I have forgiven him for these things, I have never forgotten. I can still remember the 2 incidents that happened that started to make me lose respect for him and up until that time my Dad had been one of my heros. I was confused by how he treated me but loved him anyway. As I started to grow up that started changing.
It may sound like all I do is pick on my Dad but the thing is, is that Dads are so crucial to how a girl views themselves, their lives, what boyfriends/husbands they choose etc. I don't grieve that my Dad is dead. I really haven't missed him. What I grieve over is how things could have or might have been with him. The Bible says that G-d will be a Father to the Fatherless and I have found that to be true in my own life even before my Dad died. Once I realized the unhealthiness that was my parents and my family and decided to break away from that, is when G-d Himself started reteaching me and retraining my thoughts. Everything started to change starting at that point in time. First my wrong thought patterns and general negativeness, then how I viewed myself. Being aquaintance raped screwed me up pretty bad but as I sensed I was starting to heal I went to a Physcologist to have this confirmed by a professional. And she confirmed it indeed. She was the one who told me I didn't need to hide behind the weight anymore. Up until that point it had been a security blanket for me. It wasn't until 3yrs. after seeing her that everything came together in order for me to start losing the weight. I may have put on a few lbs. because I stopped walking so faithfully for now but I have no intentions of ever hiding behind weight and getting fat again. Whom the L-rd sets free, is free indeed.
Food is just another drug that people use to escape things. It is another addiction. I have learned a thing or 2 about cravings for certain foods and eating healthy in general since my weight loss and even before and during it. However there is coming a time when it is going to become harder and harder to eat healthy. So then it will be a matter of portion control when eating the food that will be available. Again I say make sure you stock up on staples. Keep your cupboard shelves and pantry shelves full. Floor, sugar, dried fruits like raisins, cornmeal, oatmeal, rice and so on. Make sure you have plenty of water on hand as well. Chuck and I are buying jugs of it and putting it down in our storage room. Distilled is the best kind. Gas is going to be going up to 5 dollars a gallon very shortly and although there will be food at the grocery store, it is going to be so high priced because of inflation that no one will be able to afford to buy much of it if any of it. This is coming down the pike very shortly believe me or not. You of course can also take a wait and see attitude that is up to you. But it doesn't hurt to be stocked up on food anyway cause you never know when you might need it. This includes personal care items as well.
Boy I sure can swing from one topic to another quickly. I am just writing what is on my mind.
Yesterday on the way over to meet Chuck, I fell onto Bush Lake Rd. by trying to get through some deep snow to get to the street. My knees are sore and bruised and my wrist hurts a little bit. Who knows maybe its affected my brain as well. I doubt it though.
Today I went over to pick him up by 1:30. He got done with work earlier. It was weird to be walking in the daylight.
Anyway thats it for now. Talk to you again later.
I am curious to know how many people really know what love is. I Corinthians chapter 13 is called the love chapter. And it is what true love is. Love is a verb (action word) it is something you do not something you say necessarily. And it certainly isn't having funny feelings towards someone because it isn't a feeling at all. Its a word that gets a lot of abuse. For instance when someone says oh I love pizza, or I love that shirt or those shoes. Just a little food for thought.
I read an article today about how girls develop body images weather healthy or poor. Sorry but this goes back to Dad's again first and foremost.
My Dad was constantly critizing the way I looked, the way I talked, the way I walked. All I wanted was to be loved and accepted for who I am and all I ever felt was rejected for who I am by him. My Dad made several promises to me over my life which he didn't keep and although I have forgiven him for these things, I have never forgotten. I can still remember the 2 incidents that happened that started to make me lose respect for him and up until that time my Dad had been one of my heros. I was confused by how he treated me but loved him anyway. As I started to grow up that started changing.
It may sound like all I do is pick on my Dad but the thing is, is that Dads are so crucial to how a girl views themselves, their lives, what boyfriends/husbands they choose etc. I don't grieve that my Dad is dead. I really haven't missed him. What I grieve over is how things could have or might have been with him. The Bible says that G-d will be a Father to the Fatherless and I have found that to be true in my own life even before my Dad died. Once I realized the unhealthiness that was my parents and my family and decided to break away from that, is when G-d Himself started reteaching me and retraining my thoughts. Everything started to change starting at that point in time. First my wrong thought patterns and general negativeness, then how I viewed myself. Being aquaintance raped screwed me up pretty bad but as I sensed I was starting to heal I went to a Physcologist to have this confirmed by a professional. And she confirmed it indeed. She was the one who told me I didn't need to hide behind the weight anymore. Up until that point it had been a security blanket for me. It wasn't until 3yrs. after seeing her that everything came together in order for me to start losing the weight. I may have put on a few lbs. because I stopped walking so faithfully for now but I have no intentions of ever hiding behind weight and getting fat again. Whom the L-rd sets free, is free indeed.
Food is just another drug that people use to escape things. It is another addiction. I have learned a thing or 2 about cravings for certain foods and eating healthy in general since my weight loss and even before and during it. However there is coming a time when it is going to become harder and harder to eat healthy. So then it will be a matter of portion control when eating the food that will be available. Again I say make sure you stock up on staples. Keep your cupboard shelves and pantry shelves full. Floor, sugar, dried fruits like raisins, cornmeal, oatmeal, rice and so on. Make sure you have plenty of water on hand as well. Chuck and I are buying jugs of it and putting it down in our storage room. Distilled is the best kind. Gas is going to be going up to 5 dollars a gallon very shortly and although there will be food at the grocery store, it is going to be so high priced because of inflation that no one will be able to afford to buy much of it if any of it. This is coming down the pike very shortly believe me or not. You of course can also take a wait and see attitude that is up to you. But it doesn't hurt to be stocked up on food anyway cause you never know when you might need it. This includes personal care items as well.
Boy I sure can swing from one topic to another quickly. I am just writing what is on my mind.
Yesterday on the way over to meet Chuck, I fell onto Bush Lake Rd. by trying to get through some deep snow to get to the street. My knees are sore and bruised and my wrist hurts a little bit. Who knows maybe its affected my brain as well. I doubt it though.
Today I went over to pick him up by 1:30. He got done with work earlier. It was weird to be walking in the daylight.
Anyway thats it for now. Talk to you again later.
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