I am feeling a little bit down today. I guess its because of Frostbike and the sad memories that go along with it.
After all this time I am still trying to figure out why M felt he needed to do what he did. I think he would have been a fun person to know. Emotions get in our way sometimes and cloud issues and make us do and or say things we wouldn't otherwise. I genuinely cared about him and was working through my Dad issues I was having about him.
All that has been put on hold now again for the last couple of years as I go round and round in this eddy I have been stuck in.
I believe that M has been deeply wounded in his spirit like I have been. First there has to come an awareness that you've been wounded and then there has to be a genuine desire to be healed. It can be a series of events that happened or one huge gigantic event that caused it. For me it was a series. God is the only one who can really truly heal these kinds of things and He doesn't heal the same way every time. Because everyone is different, only He knows what is the best way for each person to be healed and who to use for each situation and person. Healings may come all at once or take several years. We need to decide to trust Him to do things in the way that He chooses. He knows us better than we know ourselves after all.
M, if there is ever a chance that you may stumble across this blog just know I hold no ill will toward you. Yes I was hurt and disappointed but as I have grown older and had the healing in me that God has given me, I understand human nature a little better then I used to and realize that no one is perfect. All I can say is if you want healing, it is there for you. Go to God, talk to Him, You can tell Him anything, He already knows it anyway. He loves you and your salvation is whats most important to Him. You don't have to be fakey or phoney, be real. Although I am sad I felt the need to walk away from my job perhaps it was for the best. Take care.
Signed me, someone who cares.
After all this time I am still trying to figure out why M felt he needed to do what he did. I think he would have been a fun person to know. Emotions get in our way sometimes and cloud issues and make us do and or say things we wouldn't otherwise. I genuinely cared about him and was working through my Dad issues I was having about him.
All that has been put on hold now again for the last couple of years as I go round and round in this eddy I have been stuck in.
I believe that M has been deeply wounded in his spirit like I have been. First there has to come an awareness that you've been wounded and then there has to be a genuine desire to be healed. It can be a series of events that happened or one huge gigantic event that caused it. For me it was a series. God is the only one who can really truly heal these kinds of things and He doesn't heal the same way every time. Because everyone is different, only He knows what is the best way for each person to be healed and who to use for each situation and person. Healings may come all at once or take several years. We need to decide to trust Him to do things in the way that He chooses. He knows us better than we know ourselves after all.
M, if there is ever a chance that you may stumble across this blog just know I hold no ill will toward you. Yes I was hurt and disappointed but as I have grown older and had the healing in me that God has given me, I understand human nature a little better then I used to and realize that no one is perfect. All I can say is if you want healing, it is there for you. Go to God, talk to Him, You can tell Him anything, He already knows it anyway. He loves you and your salvation is whats most important to Him. You don't have to be fakey or phoney, be real. Although I am sad I felt the need to walk away from my job perhaps it was for the best. Take care.
Signed me, someone who cares.
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