I have been being confronted at the a crossroad these past couple of days. First of all let me explain that my husband's brother has never liked me. When Chuck and I were dating back in 2005, I was going through some really hard things emotionally. It was the year I was aquantaince raped and I was also trying to get over someone whom I had dated while in treatment the last time who I still had some tail end feelings for. I hold this person indirectly responsible for my rape.
In any case, while I was talking to Chuck on the phone one evening about my feelings for R, his brother and his wife thought they would be funny and pick up the other phone and listen in on our conversation. This led them to over hearing only part of what I was saying about R but it was enough for them to make a snap judgement about me. The other thing that happened was that Chuck told me that his brother would keep him up till all hours of the night wanting to come into his room and play video games when Chuck needed to sleep because he had to get up in the morning and go to work. Anyway I suggested he bring his tv over to my place to stop the whole thing. So we stopped by to pick it up and as Chuck was bringing it down the stairs to put it in the car (I sat in the car waiting), Chucks brother came out on the balcony and was yelling all kinds of threats at me so much so that I put my fingers in my ears so that I couldn't hear him anymore.
It is now 27 years later and Chuck and I were on our way out into the kitchen and he had his computer set up in the living room so that his dad could talk to his brother via skype. As we are making our way down the hall I hear his Dad saying "Oh I don't think anyone can hear me from here" and I I knew he was saying something bad about either me or both of us. My heart just sank and I thought oh no not still after all these years.
I would just like to add that I go out of my way to be helpful with small things as A doesn't want me to chip in too much. I try to stay out of his way and stay in my guilded cage at the back of the apartment. It has not been easy living here these past 7 years and I miss us having a place of our own. But Chuck wants to stay here for his Dads sake because he is 89 and his kidneys are starting to fail him and he really needs us to be here.
And so I stand at a crossroad confronted with forgiving and moving on once again or taking on a grudge. I know that God places us in circumstances like this to see how we handle it and what will we do. So I choose to forgive and move on and leave my hurt with Him, but it still saddens me nevertheless. I don't think I will ever be liked by Chuck's brother because of part of a conversation that was heard and which I wasn't able to defend myself over, 27 years ago.
Learn that things are not always as they appear to be if you can because they aren't. Try to give people the benefit of the doubt. They deserve that much at least. And if you do find yourself to be in the right, put it behind you and move on as quickly as possible. Sometimes it means removing that person from our lives either for awhile or permanently. The situation will dictate that. Other times it just means forgive and move on with that person still in your life. Whenever it trys to invade your thoughts, put them in their place and go on.
In any case, while I was talking to Chuck on the phone one evening about my feelings for R, his brother and his wife thought they would be funny and pick up the other phone and listen in on our conversation. This led them to over hearing only part of what I was saying about R but it was enough for them to make a snap judgement about me. The other thing that happened was that Chuck told me that his brother would keep him up till all hours of the night wanting to come into his room and play video games when Chuck needed to sleep because he had to get up in the morning and go to work. Anyway I suggested he bring his tv over to my place to stop the whole thing. So we stopped by to pick it up and as Chuck was bringing it down the stairs to put it in the car (I sat in the car waiting), Chucks brother came out on the balcony and was yelling all kinds of threats at me so much so that I put my fingers in my ears so that I couldn't hear him anymore.
It is now 27 years later and Chuck and I were on our way out into the kitchen and he had his computer set up in the living room so that his dad could talk to his brother via skype. As we are making our way down the hall I hear his Dad saying "Oh I don't think anyone can hear me from here" and I I knew he was saying something bad about either me or both of us. My heart just sank and I thought oh no not still after all these years.
I would just like to add that I go out of my way to be helpful with small things as A doesn't want me to chip in too much. I try to stay out of his way and stay in my guilded cage at the back of the apartment. It has not been easy living here these past 7 years and I miss us having a place of our own. But Chuck wants to stay here for his Dads sake because he is 89 and his kidneys are starting to fail him and he really needs us to be here.
And so I stand at a crossroad confronted with forgiving and moving on once again or taking on a grudge. I know that God places us in circumstances like this to see how we handle it and what will we do. So I choose to forgive and move on and leave my hurt with Him, but it still saddens me nevertheless. I don't think I will ever be liked by Chuck's brother because of part of a conversation that was heard and which I wasn't able to defend myself over, 27 years ago.
Learn that things are not always as they appear to be if you can because they aren't. Try to give people the benefit of the doubt. They deserve that much at least. And if you do find yourself to be in the right, put it behind you and move on as quickly as possible. Sometimes it means removing that person from our lives either for awhile or permanently. The situation will dictate that. Other times it just means forgive and move on with that person still in your life. Whenever it trys to invade your thoughts, put them in their place and go on.
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