Grieving

I know I haven't been in here in a while but then again I haven't had much to say lately. Anyway, today I want to talk about how long a person should grieve over something or someone for that matter.
I had a situation happen to me a little over a year ago that I have been grieving over off and on ever since. Today I felt the L-rd impress on my mind that I have been grieving long enough over this and it is time to move on, which knowing me I will not be able to accomplish without His help.
My question is what is the difference between genuinely still grieving something and having it just hang about your neck like an albatross after a time? Grieving and having self pity over something is a fine line drawn indeed.
Life deals some pretty heavy duty blows sometimes. Some things really suck and weren't asked for, others are of our own making. And why do we have the tendency to start picking scape goats to blame over something we are totally responsible for? In my opinion and it is only mine, "What a bunch of utter nonsense and foolishness."
I think that some people can get so caught up in their grieving that they lose touch over weather it is still actually grieving or self pity and we often include anger in the mix for good measure.
I am not saying it is wrong to grieve, far from it, what I am saying is when it becomes all consuming and you can't think of anything else and it dominates your whole life i.e. everything you think do and say with it always lurking about in the backround waiting for you to resume with it. I don't think this is healthy. We all have a measure of yucky stuff dumped on us, unfortunately it comes with being alive and living. No one person is better or worse then anyone else when it comes to grievous things happening.
I despise self pity and yet I fall into it sometimes. I like to shake my proverbial fist at G-d sometimes and say why. On the other hand I believe the Bible is the living word of G-d and in it in Romans chapter 8 verse 28 it says "And we know that all things work together for good to those that LOVE G-d, to those who are the called according to His purposes." This has got to play in there somewhere along the way.
If we truly are disciples of Yeshua then this verse applies to us and either it is truth or not and either we believe it or not. And not just some things, but ALL things. I know I know I have a hard time wrapping my mind around that as well especially if you have some phyisical malady that keeps you in constant pain (been there, done that.) Sometimes it is hard to see the forest for the trees. Just a little thought for food for another writing session.